Misfortune
by IOnlyWriteBigStories
Summary: What happens when a distraction plan backfires spectacularly? Sonic is about to find out the hard way with dressing rooms, Gun on his tail and a fainted actress. Oneshot, purely for laughs.


Title: **Misfortune**  
Category: Games » Sonic the Hedgehog  
Author: IOnlyWriteBigStories  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: K  
Genre: Humor/General  
Published: 04-27-12, Updated: 04-27-12  
Chapters: 1, Words: 2,935

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**Chapter 1: Misfortune**

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**A/N: To everyone getting frustrated about the lack of updates, sorry but I HAD to write that. Persistent plot bunny.**  
**And there's something wrong with me if I'm writing this hearing 'A Fate worse Than Death' by Creature Feature **

**Disclaimer: What it says on the imaginary tin. I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog and co**

**Consider this a birthday gift from yours truly :D**

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Sonic was running for his life. Drops of sweat were falling off his head, fur standing up. He was out of breath but he continued running or else he'd be a dead hedgehog. He could feel his legs complaining but he kept running through the streets of Westopolis. There were light grey clouds covering the entire sky as winter started catching up and wanted to greet everyone, for missing more than usual the last year, with his usual gloom. Not that it made a difference. The sun had almost started to set, as the city's night-life began to stir. Hordes of people were gathered out of clubs while other were heading towards them. Some other, tired because of work, drove towards their homes.

However Sonic ignored all that and kept running. Now I'm sure everyone is wondering the reason of such behaviour. Was it that the evil Doctor had unleashed another god-like entity? Or maybe he created one of the deadliest robots in existence? Perhaps there was another alien invasion, or a rip in the fabric of time and space itself? Even worse, could have he forgotten a date with Amy Rose?

None of that were true. The truth behind his frantic behaviour was something much more sinister and foul in nature...

It was supposed to be simple; he was supposed to be a distraction to the cops, so Shadow and Rouge could infiltrate the police department in order to check some suspicious records. His role was to distract the few policemen around the area and lead them away. It sounded simple and it was simple. However Sonic didn't expect his little stunt to backfire so spectacularly.

Maybe he shouldn't have thrown the giant robot at the building.

Currently sirens were wailing behind him as high speed chase cars followed him. Apparently there had been a very important meeting of the WCPD (Westopolois City Police department). Also judging by the fact that the entire WCPD police forces were deployed, he guessed that maybe he could have distracted them in another way which didn't include sending Eggman robots flying past the walls.

In other words Sonic was royally screwed. He could even swear he saw some GUN helicopters behind him. It'd be normal considering GUN's HQ was located at Westopolis and had close ties with WCPD.

Sonic took a sharp right turn and run into a dirty alley. The lights were trembling and many shadows were formed by the trash cans along the walls. Soon he came into a dead end. Cursing his luck he turned around trying to find another way out. That's when he noticed a lose metallic door on the right wall. He debated on whether to or not to enter the door but as the sirens wailed again, this time closer, he threw caution to the wind and barged in.

He was greeted by yet another hallway in which he ran until sharp lights came into view.

Judging by were he was, Sonic guessed he had to be in the backstage of a theatre. Along the hallway were many dressing rooms. Seeing as he had nowhere else to go and hearing the door behind him slam open he rushed inside the first dressing room.

Closing the door, he backed up against it, closed his eyes and sighted. Hopefully they wouldn't enter here so he could make an escape plan. Or he could even wait for a bit longer until the left. Brilliant! Things were already looking better for him-

A scream pierced Sonic's ears, followed by a thumping sound. The hedgehog flinched as what seemed to be one of the actresses came from the shower and just fainted in front of him.

Wondering what sins he had committed to deserve this Sonic went to her. She seemed to be a white female hedgehog and he thought he'd seen her somewhere... She had some blond extensions attached to the base of her ears and lots of make-up...

_Wait a second..._

He wanted to bang his head on the wall until one of them gave out. She was the famous Aggeliki the Hedgehog, a popular actress which played a major role in that musical he was forced to watch with Amy. From what she told him she was one of the biggest stars in Möbius and the only reason they could find seats was because _he was Sonic the Hedgehog._

Right on cue someone knocked the door.

"Aggeliki! Are you ok darling?" a male voice asked her. Sonic froze. He. Was. Doomed.

"Aggeliki!" the voice became more worried "Can you hear me?"

Sonic gulped.

"Yes" he said in the higher pitch he could achieve "I'm fine," he continued. There was no response and Sonic stood up and searched for another exit, getting more worried by the second.

"Glad to hear that!" he voice responded, all worry gone. Sonic sighted from relief. "Just be careful. I've been told some punk came here. The cops are all over the place."

"Oh," Sonic said again in a high pitched matter.

"But don't worry honey! Just be ready for you show later. I'll come in five minutes!" with that Sonic heard some footsteps heading away from them. Without making a sound he approached the door and looked through the lock. Outside, many policemen were gathered inspecting the place and not likely to leave in five minutes.

Sonic looked away and wanted to scream at his misfortune. He couldn't escape and in five minutes his hiding spot would be uncovered.

_Unless..._

_No_, Sonic thought to himself. _Nu-uh. I__ will not disguise as her_, he thought referring to Aggeliki. _No way._

Looking at the clock nearby, his heart dropped. Only three and a half minutes left. Well they both _were_ hedgehogs...

Not believing what he was about to do, Sonic moved the unconscious body of the actress onto the couch and braced himself as he went to the mirror. Letting out a deep breath, he looked at the various posters of her on the walls and then himself. After a few more minutes of mental preparation he looked at the stash of clothes she had and took about a bra and a dress. His brain was refusing to believe what he was doing, as he strapped the bra on and looked at the two empty cups, as there was nothing to fill them with. Going to the bathroom he rolled out a lot of toilet paper and stashed it into the two cups. Seeing as her... well... breasts were quite large, Sonic had to use an entire roll of it. However seeing as there were not any dresses which were not so revealing Sonic was forced to spread out a towel above them, which could pass as fur. That is as long as no one noticed that there should be a gap between that two appendages... _details,_ Sonic dismissed.

Not sure whether to be disturbed or not Sonic slipped on the dress. Thankfully, thanks to his fast metabolism, the dress was a bit loose, especially around the hips. Looking at himself in the mirror, he adjusted the dress that way so that the edges of the towel were hidden and supported. Turning around, he thanked any Supreme Being that the actress had back spines or else someone might be wondering about how fast spines can grow. Making sure to fit them in the adjusted openings, he also put out his tail in the opening which run upwards, almost close to his back spines. So he managed to put the dress on too.

However there was a problem. Sonic, being a male and all that, was lacking in the hips department in contrast with Aggeliki. The difference was noticeable too, so he had to come with a way to counter that.

Feeling his self-respect commit suicide, he looked for underwear. After he found on he held it up as if it was radioactive. Maybe it was; you never knew these days. Maybe it glowed in the dark, like that other product that was advertised in Chao Channel... His muzzle becoming a deep red Sonic got another roll of toilet paper. He put on the underwear, hoping there were no cameras in there, and then held up the dress as he filled the sides with toilet paper. After that he adjusted it so it would seem as genuine hips and looked at the clock. Two minutes left before his cover was blown.

Looking himself at the mirror again, he put out his white gloves and put one the long black ones she wore on the posters. Also he looked at the dress again. The dress was long, too long for him. Aggeliki, being older than him, was also taller. It would be strange for her to suddenly become so small...

With horror Sonic found out he had to wear heels.

It wasn't that tragic. Sort of. As he stumbled across the room, wondering what as the use of heels other to provide a fake image of you, Sonic decided he had to put on some make-up as well.

The following information now is fully confidential and should not be entrusted to anyone, other than those qualified. Those who have read this and are not qualified will be blasted by a burst of Chaos Energy any time now.

A year ago, Amy wanted Sonic to do her a favour. Sonic, being an innocent little hedgie he was, gladly accepted, unaware of the severe consequences it would have.

Amy wanted to practise her make up skills.

You thought that was the worst part? You're severely mistaken.

As it turned out, Amy had to explain every little detail of that thing called make-up, which was basically putting all sorts of paints on your skin and fur. So Sonic had, unawarely, become a sort of an expert when it came to this. Also seeing that he wasn't one of the guys who were reeking with testosterone, it'd be better for anyone not to know this.

Grumbling to himself, the hedgehog searched for white powder in order to get his fur all white. When he found it, he dived head first into the powder, causing it to fill the whole room and completely cover his face, as if Chaos decided to have fun with exploding flour sacks. Satisfied with the result, Sonic also powdered his hands and every other part of him that was bare, along with his toes, just in case. Soon enough it looked as if Sonic had changed from blue to white.

Moving on, Sonic brought up the other stuff. When he found the bag that contained them, he flipped it. Make-up, eye-liners, eye shadows and other crap fell into the table with Sonic trying to decided what to put on next.

Feeling the remaining part of his self respect crumble, he applied a small blush to his muzzle. After that he moved too eye shadows, which was easier with the way his eyes were formed. He felt like painting an empty canvas a he closed another eye and began to fill it with a vibrant red eye shadow. Then he did the same thing with the other eye, careful not to go off the edges. Next on his list was the eye-liner.

You see, another thing that made him appear more feminine to others, were his eyelashes. They weren't extremely long but they were thick and distinguishable. And although he and Shadow even had the same type of eyelashes, Shadow's were less visible, because of his black fur. In Mobian society there was a sot of myth about eyelashes. That the more apparent they were, the more feminine was the person. Also seeing as, genetically, female Mobian had eyelashes almost triple the size of male eyelashes, the rumour may have a basis. As mentioned before, Sonic was more in touch with his feminine side; so maybe that rumour was true. However, worrying about his masculinity was one of his last things Sonic bothered to think right now; only one minute left.

He finally finished applying the make up and Sonic looked himself at the mirror. To say he was shocked was an understatement. Right now, the only thing he had to do was put on some blonde extension and brush his quills. Sonic found some glue and a few spare extensions underneath the table, where there were many boxes. He quickly glued them to the base of his ears, careful not to take any patch of blue fur. With thirty seconds left Sonic put on some colongue for the heck of it, brushed his spines and stood facing the door.

He reached out for the handle and hope his little disguise would work, or else he'd be the laughing stock for the entire Möbius and Earth. Pulling the doors open, he avoided eye contact and hope his disguise would work even for a second.

"Hey there, sweet cheeks" one of the policemen smugly said. He was leaning casually towards the wall and was smoking a cigar. Sonic didn't respond but casually strode past him. The policeman shocked from his dismissal, took a big puff from his cigar and placed himself in front of our disguised hero.

"Ya should know that we just saved yer life, littl' girl" he proudly said, leaning towards Sonic, one wall placed on the wall to deny access and the other leisurely hung to the side along with the cigar "We just heard that whoever that littl' punk was, he left in haste just cause he was afraid of us." He smirked.

Sonic didn't know what should disgust him more; the fact that a human was hitting on a Mobian, when their species weren't even compatible; the fact that he was hitting on a guy as well or by his annoying tome of self assurance and make-believe masculinity.

"So..." the young policeman continued, oblivious to the situation "care to go for dinner? After that we could get to my house..." he trailed of.

In one swift movement Sonic punched the guy in the guts, making him fall to his knees as he fled Holding his dress up, he run in a comical way, a result of his high-heels. As he ran out of the door he found out two mammals he was familiar with. Letting out a sight of relief he approached them.

"Hold it right there!" Shadow exclaimed "Who are you lady?"

"You idiot!" Sonic yelled back, using his normal voice "It's me, Sonic!" Upon hearing this, it was one of the rare moments Sonic remembered seeing Shadow truly at a loss of words.

"Well, that's what I call a huge makeover" commented Rouge in her usual seductive voice. Sonic rolled his eyes. "Can you tell me why going through it?"

"Distraction plan backfired" he plainly responded "I hid in that building, which was then brimming with cops and I had no way out." he said, clearly annoyed with his current predicament. Rouge let out a soft laugh as Shadow huffed. "Now can we leave?" he urged them "I'm feeling funny with all those clothes and rolls of toilet paper"

Soon after that the trio were outside Westopolis city, its lights blinding as a supernova in a clear sky.

"I have to say I am impressed Faker. One minute has passed and you haven't tripped yet"

On cue, Sonic's left high heel tripped over a rock resulting in one Sonic face-down on the ground. To that Shadow let out a snicker while Rouge chuckled. Sonic was murmuring jinx all the time.

"At least we know you're in touch with your feminine side" Rouge sad, flying above Sonic. Personally Rouge found that situation one of the funniest. Sonic, hero of worlds, started cross-dressing a famous actor.

"Hilarious." Sonic deadpaned "Let me tickle myself in order to laugh"

They decided to remain silent until they had to cross paths.

"Well then, I believe a change is needed" she teased the hedgehog who was still wearing the dress.

"Sure thing Rouge" he responded and with that he returned back home, where things were normal and giant robots along with god-like entities attacked its day. Sadly when Sonic returned home Tails was still awake.

One could hear a loud scream piercing the heavens that night.


End file.
